Altamonte Springs, Fla. – Scientists have said that an asteroid roughly the size of a school bus is headed for Earth, one day before Election Day. While the celestial object, known as 2018 VP1, is not expected to collide with our planet, there is a way to make sure you’re covered just in case: purchasing asteroid insurance.
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Mike St. Lawrence, who owns the Saint Lawrence Agency in Altamonte Springs, Florida became a viral sensation when news broke of a limited or comprehensive alien abduction insurance policy his agency sells.
St. Lawrence has sold thousands of the policies since the late 1980s. Business boomed last year following the the creation of a Facebook event in which millions of people expressed interest in raiding the top-secret military base Area 51.
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Photo copy of an asteroid insurance policy. (Mike St. Lawrence.)
St. Lawrence has stressed that his policies are only intended for someone with a sense of humor.
Now, with giant space rocks continuously hurtling through our solar system, St. Lawrence felt it was time to add asteroid insurance for his customers — with a clever tagline, of course.
“Don’t get hit without it,” he said.
The humorous policy includes “Quantum Physics Coverage” as well as “Cirrhosis Coverage,” which the policy says includes “any panic drinking due to a near miss.”
“We have been offering $10,000,000.00 Asteroid Insurance all over the World since 1991. Except for a time when we were investigated in Texas,” St. Lawrence wrote on his website.